What am I suppose to do? Every time I do this to myself, it becomes harder and harder to not just go insane. I don't know why. Masochist is a word that I've heard thrown around to describe me. I guess it would fit. Why do I put up with all the shit when I feel like I'm being taken advantage of? Is it harder to brunt the burden than to just walk away. Would walking away really solve any of the issues here?
It's a problem with no easy answer. There are so many other opportunities available to me. Why do I deal with it? I keep coming back to that question. The same question, one that will stand for eternity. Why? The Who, What, When, and Where matter not. It's always that why that I get hung up on, and solving that is no easy task. It's not like I can really talk to anyone about it. The web of lies is wound so tight I'm choking in it, even though it's not even all necessarily lies. Half truths thrown about hap hazardly, little care about not only the moral consequences, but the mental consequences as well. Cold, lonely, and without a care in the world...
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