Saturday, June 19, 2010

Unshakable Doubt...

It's been a long time. I've not had too many reasons to return, hence my absence. It's been neutral and monotonous, these past few months. Nothing to speak of cause nothing has happened. Needless to say that something has happened, thus my return.

Nothing tragic, nothing grand. Nothing lost, nothing gained. Yet.

I feel uneasy writing this, simply due to the fact that I know I'm blowing it wildly out of proportion. It's impossible to care for someone so much, so soon. Of course, this exact thought led me to something much deeper. Is it better to care for someone to quickly, or to not care at all? The answer might appear obvious, but lets look at it a little deeper:

If someone does something nice for you, without any reason as to why, what is often the first thought that enters your mind? For me, it's that there's something else behind it. Whether it's that they want something, or it's part of some larger plot... Then again, I am the paranoid one.

Let us find out what others think.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Villian...

"I'll take your love, I'll take your hate, I'll take your desire. I'll take your heart, I'll take your pain. I'll take the world when it turns on you. I'll set it on fire. I'll bring you to life..."

"You'd be willing to destroy the world for love, yes? No? Hmm, that's a very surprising answer, to be honest.", the man before me paused to pour some tea into a small, very antique looking cup, which he carefully offer to me. There was a cautious nature about the man, no doubt a side-effect of his past occupation.

"I could tell by your hesitation and then sudden expression of discomfort at the question. Most who interject logic in the question always give the same answer. It's one that should be answered on pure emotion. I was expecting more from you. You appear to me to be one of those 'do anything for love' sort of fellows. Am I wrong?", I hesitated.

"N-no... I mean, I-I'm not sure. I've never placed myself in that sort of situation. Not that I think I'd-"

"-Ever find youself deciding between the fate of the world and the one you love?"

He sat down with the waning light falling onto his shoulders, which gave him a sort of gentle nature to him. 'Gentle' of course, wouldn't, no couldn't be used to describe this man. He is perhaps one of the most hated men in all of history, and here I was interviewing him.

"I was more surprised by the question, than anything, I believe."

"Is that so? Oh, so you must be one that thinks that a man such as myself must be incapable of love, that so much hatred and corruption must have been generated from the hatred and corruption that has filled my past, yes?" he said, his voice in a slow crescendo, "I hate to disappoint you, dear fellow, but I was not always such a despised man. I, in fact, could once be considered to be in love."

Sunday, February 28, 2010

On The Run From No One...

It's cold, very cold. I am a dejected man. I'll admit that, but why does it have to be so fucking cold? My tears have turned to ice, and are burning my face, but I have no time to wipe them away. I must continue running. My quest for escape from my own person hell has not yet reached it's end. I must continue running till I can no longer run.

My drive is someone beautiful; someone I love very much. I must keep running for them. I have to. I must escape, and meet them, and say, "I'm home.", with which they will greet me with, "Thank God!". They will be happy, and I will feel safe in their arms. Safety, something I must seek.

They aren't far behind. I can feel them breathing down my neck; nipping at my heals with their sharpened teeth and their hollow hearts. Anticipating the kill. One I shall make them work for.

"Keep running, keep running...", is all that goes through my head. I can't stop. I mustn't stop. I feel them. They're over coming me. Draining the life from me. I collapse. I try to regain my stance, but my legs collapse underneath the weight. I can't escape. I can't run from imaginary problems.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Witch...

Something has been plaguing me lately. Something far darker than what I've dealt with prior to this time. No, that's a lie. I've faced this monster, and struck it dead. Seeing it here again raises some questions as to my thoroughness. This is, of course, is bad for my image. All of it is. It's very existence nags at my being, tearing away pieces of my sol, strand by bloody strand. I've stretched my resources far too thin this time. Reconsolidation, anyone? Far scarier a word than I could have imagined.

Am I jealous? No. Maybe. I'm not sure. I have nothing to be jealous of. No one, no one to be jealous of. There is no one else, and yet, I feel lost, and unsought. Loneliness does not being to describe. That sounds far too dark. No, I refuse to say that I'm sad, let alone depressed. Such a horrible word, that. No, I'm fine. One step at a time. It's just taking longer than expected to cope with this burden.

This Witch needs to be ridden from my shoulders. It's far too much to deal with at this time, now that it's already at it's limit. I'm not sure what I can do now.

Call in all the generals. We'll have a battle plan before the setting of the sun.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

The Secret Wish...

I want to send a message.
I want to speak without words.
To share openly the ideas
That have amassed within.

I want open thought.
I want ideas in tones.
Expression without consequence.
Love without Fear.

I want my feelings to flourish.
I want color, joy, happiness.
Do you see the patterns?

What I Hear Is Harmony
What I Feel Is Ecstasy
This Is The Closest Thing On Earth To A Miracle
Let Music be the Food of Love