Saturday, October 31, 2009

You are the Sun...

...and I am the Moon, and we are in this together.

It's been a bit since I last wrote to you. Sorry about that. Normally, I would lie and say that I was busy. In this case, I really was busy, no lie. Promise. Slowly but surely I've been getting my life together. Things are looking up, and while I may not be making the best decisions at the moment, I am doing my best a making a better future for myself. I really wish others would do the same. Sadly, I feel my words fall on deaf ears. I'll continue trying irregardless. It's my duty. Eventually, someone will listen.

I was told I'm in tune. I'm connected to those around me. I'm fairly good at interpreting emotions, facial expressions, body language. Some call it empathy (not to be confused with apathy...or is it the other way around...), but that's not the whole story. I find it easy to interpret those whom I share feelings with. I also understand that there are just some situations where I "just don't understand (sob)", but I do understand. I may not have the same thoughts, but I do know the emotion. Emotions are one of the few things that link all humanity together (though I'm sure this is debatable, as is all things). Love, hate, fear, joy, sadness, and confusion. At one point or another, all humans experience the full gambit. Only natural.

Speaking of this, I wish others were more empathetic to me. I feel like I understand most people I meet, but few, if anyone, understands me. Maybe I just act to guarded. I do have a hard time talking to people, and an even harder time telling even close friends what needs to be said. Not good. No, it's quite bad actually. I don't have all the answers, and this is definitely a perfect example.

Another perfect example of how I don't know everything: I Love Someone. Truly, I do. I've wrestled with the idea of Love, and what exactly it is. I've determined that it is impossible to describe, not because it's complicated, but because it's simple beyond any measure of the word. Love is Joy. You don't seek Joy, it just occurs throughout life. Eventually, you'll come to that one individual that produces that Joy. That is Love....

...I've found mine. The issue being that I don't know how to best express it to this individual. The situation is a perilous one. A chasm I'm tiptoeing through. See you on the other side?