Thursday, September 10, 2009

Ease My Mind...

Where do I begin. My issues are too numerous to mention. How do I avoid the inevitable breakdown of information.

First off, I'm having dreams, dreams which somehow seem more real than my waking moments. I've mentioned these before, but have yet to speak much about them. They feel so real because I have emotions, which I express with precision and intensity that I restrain in real life. I actively communicate my emotions to these entities in my dreams, causing them to react in very realistic ways, showing equal precision and intensity, and strangely, a passion that I've never seen in anyone real, or imagined. I almost feel more alive in my dreams than reality, which is quite a dangerous notion, I can assure you. Should I see this as a sign that I must show more emotion to the real life equivalents of those figures from my dreams, so that I may see the same passion in reality as in my head? If so, it has been quite an eerie sign.

Secondly, I've been frustrated out of my mind about how I feel like I am unable to communicate anything with any precision of effectiveness, due in part to my lack of a full vocabulary, but mostly due to my inability to catch the words that evade my grasp, in which I then spend many moments trying to regain. The greatest loss for me, is the loss of words. This happens all too often for me. Perhaps it, too, is a sign. A sign that I don't exercise my vocabulary muscle too often. Maybe this is just a small cramp that one gets when he first begins regular exercise of said muscle, one just like any other muscle. I will not let this deter me.

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